Not sounding dumb when you talk to IT pros is a tough trick for execs who have to oversee IT workers and earn their respect.  Using the right terms can help you at least sound like you know what you’re talking about — even if you don’t.

Why does the lingo change so often? Most likely because technology evolves and becomes antiquated at a pace that would make Lance Armstrong dizzy. Even the pros have a tough time keeping up, unless the topic falls into their narrow area of expertise.

And really, the technology subculture is about as snobbish as any clique of experts on a particular topic. Changing up the terms is one way of separating real techies from wannabes.

Knowing the right terms gets you into the inner circle where the action is.

Here’s a good list of tech terms you’ll want to avoid, along with their current substitutions, courtesy of the folks at NetworkWorld.

1. Intranet: Yes, every company has one but now it’s called a “portal”.
2. Extranet: A secure connection to your company network via the Internet, this is now accomplished by “VPN” (virtual private network) connectivity.
3. Web surfing: Nobody but your 83-year-old grandmother does this anymore.  Folks “browse” and they “Google” (yes, it’s now a verb), but waves are the only thing that are surfed, not the Internet.
4. Push technology: It’s so 90′s. And it also sucked too much bandwidth, so now everyone gets streams of information via “RSS” (Really Simple Syndication.) Go figure.
5. Application Service Provider (ASP): Fewer and fewer organizations are buying software these days, but they still need it. So they often subscribe to it using the “Sofware as a Service” or “SaaS” business model. Users access the software via a Web site that resides in “the Cloud” — as in “cloud computing.” The benefit: You pay only for what you use. ASP is, well, old school and doesn’t put as fine a point on the service as these related terms.
6. Personal Digital Assistant (PDA): Personally, I own three old PDA’s and I can’t bear to toss them, despite the fact I haven’t used one in more than five years. PDA fans have switched their allegiance to the “smartphone” — things with names like BlackBerry, iPhone, Treo and such. (This is what’s often referred to as “unified communicaton,” technology that blends many functions in a single unit.)
7. Telephony: Ah for the days when they had whole conferences devoted to the topic. Now we say “Voice over IP” or “VoIP” which just means that all telephone calls travel over the Internet. Because they do.
8. Weblog: In the beginning, Internet junkies recorded their every waking thought, no matter how stupid or poorly informed,  in a Weblog. Their habit became known as “blogging” and their ramblings their “blogs.” They themselves became  bloggers. Heaven help us all.
9. Thin client: The idea was that most users don’t need the full processing power of a computer, they could all work off a terminal that sucked up less energy and used fewer software applications. For no apparent reason, these skinny units became known as “virtual desktops” — as opposed to the desktop computer workers used to have. (My theory: The name was changed to make sure that only the computer cognocenti knew the right moniker.)
10. RBOC: This antiquated term was born of the mid-80s break up of AT&T into “Regional Bell Operating Companies,” aka Baby Bells. The subsequent mergers and changes in telcom carriers means that RBOC doesn’t refer to anything that exists anymore. No substitution required.
11. Long distance call: When was the last time you got charged for one? Exactly. Most carriers now let subscribers/customers call someone across the country for the same flat rate they’re charged for calling next door. “National” and “Unlimited” calling plans are now standard with most carriers.
12. World Wide Web: Nobody calls it “the Web” or the “Information Superhighway” either. It’s “the Internet.” That’s all. You can still get stuck in it however. And your access to it can still “go down” or sites can “crash” or “lock up.” But so far, the Internet itself hasn’t crashed, been dismantled or shut down by nefarious forces — although it isn’t for lack of trying.

Please feel free to add terms or correct them as you see fit. We can all learn from our mistakes.