Not that you would ever want to sound like a programmer, but here’s a list of the latest terms they use. So at least you’ll know what they’re talking about (and why they might call you an “impediphile”).

Unicorny. An adjective used to describe a feature that’s so early in the planning stages that it might as well be imaginary.

Bugfoot. Refers to a programming bug that is not reproducible and has been sighted by only one person. (Also called the “Loch Ness Monster Bug.”)

Drug Report. Used to describe a bug report so utterly incomprehensible that whoever submitted it must have been on something.

Chug Report. Wherein the submitter is thought have had one too many.

Smug Report. Describes a bug submitted by a user who thinks he knows a lot more about the system’s design than he really does. Such a report is usually filled with irrelevant technical details and one or more suggestions (always wrong) about what he thinks is causing the problem and how we should fix it.

Shrug Report. A user’s bug report with no error message and only a vague description of the problem. Usually contains the phrase “doesn’t work.”

Common Law Feature. A bug in the application that has existed so long that it is now part of the expected functionality, and user support is required to actually fix it.

Mad Girlfriend Bug. Occurs when a developer sees something strange happening, but when he inquires about it, it will just say that everything is fine.

Code Slush (as opposed to Code Freeze). A term for the date after which no changes will be accepted, except, of course, all the changes that management will ask for at the last minute. It is like Code Freeze, but accepting of the fact that some changes will still get in.

Impediphile. Someone who codes in such a manner as to constantly cause impediments to others’ work.