Repairing the emotional connection is a hallmark of companies that we love, says a new book, I Love You More than My Dog, by Jeanne Bliss.

“It makes us love them even more,” says  Bliss.

Companies that don’t apologize well, or avoid taking the blame, get killed on social networks.

Take United Airlines’ passenger Dave Carroll, whose song about how United broke his guitar has been viewed 5.6 million times on YouTube since it was posted three months ago.

Carroll didn’t want money. He wanted an apology. Here’s how to recover when the inevitable happens:

• Grovel. When Amazon messed up, CEO Jeff Bezos posted a humble apology online: “Our ‘solution’ to the problem was stupid, thoughtless, and painfully out of line with our principles.” More than 700 customers replied. “My loyalty keeps growing stronger,” said one customer.
• Fess up. Netflix.com, one of the most successful online companies, turns its customers into fans by giving unprompted and unrequested refunds. When its service didn’t match promises recently, it sent refunds to everyone with that service, even those who hadn’t noticed.
• Anticipate complaints. Every morning Southwest Airlines has a MOM meeting (Morning Overview Meeting). It examines everything that went wrong the day before from the passengers point of view, including delayed flights, bad weather, bad engines and bad jokes by attendants. It sends humble letters of contrition to customers, which most often arrive before they’ve even got around to sending their letter of complaint, reported Bliss in her new book.
• Explain. The best apologies explain what went wrong and what the company has done to prevent the mistake from recurring.

Julie Power is editor in chief of The Internet & Marketing Report and writes the blog Internet Marketing Report Online. Follow her on Twitter.

The latest YouTube viral sensation is a song, called “United Breaks Guitars,” made by musician Dave Carroll. No points for guessing which airline’s service is being satirized and attacked in the video, which was viewed 2.5 million times within five days of being posted. As of posting, it had 2,791,539 million views.

See it here:

Here’s what happened in this case.

In the spring of 2008, Carroll’s band, Sons of Maxwell, was traveling to Nebraska for a one-week tour. Passengers on the United flight with Carroll saw his $3,500 Taylor guitar being thrown by United Airlines baggage handlers in Chicago, severely damaging the guitar.

In the months that followed, United didn’t deny that the guitar had been damaged,  says Carroll. But everyone passed the buck, and refused to compensate him.

After nine months of frustration, Carroll decided to air his complaint to the public, via YouTube.

“I promised the last person to finally say “no” to compensation  that I would write and produce three songs about my experience with United Airlines and make videos for each to be viewed online by anyone in the world. United: Song 1 is the first of those songs. United: Song 2 has been written and video production is underway. United: Song 3 is coming. I promise,” he said.

Carroll’s tactic worked. United quickly offered damages, apologized, and promised to use Carroll’s video in training sessions for its reps.

Despite United’s apology, and offer of compensation (which Carroll wants United to donate to charity), Carroll is pushing ahead with plans for the next two videos.  Next time, United may apologize sooner rather than later.

Update: Now the Huffington Post reports that this video has cost United 10% of its market share. Chris Ayres of The Times Online in the U.K. In a column earlier this week, Ayres claimed the Carroll mishap actually cost United $180 million, or 10 percent of its market cap. Ouch.

Julie Power is editor in chief of the Internet Marketing Report and its accompanying blog, www.eIMR.blogspot.com.