The 8 dumbest things said in sales meetings

March 10, 2010 by Charlie Walker

Posted in: communication, In this week's e-newsletter - Sales & Marketing, Latest News & Views - Sales & Marketing

Even the best salespeople can slip up while giving an otherwise great presentation. For example:

Did you hear the true story about the salesman who regularly regaled a customer with tales of his drunken escapades — until the customer told him he was a Mormon?

The salesperson apologized — and then asked, “How many wives do you have?”

That’s an “oops!” moment. And they can be funny — as long as they don’t happen on your watch.

Seven other real-life examples of the stupidest things ever said in sales meetings:

“We flew to a client, and the head of the department came to the lobby to tell us that our key contact had died during the night. And my boss said, ‘Well, who’s her replacement? We flew up here and expect to present to someone.’”
“I was working for Dr Pepper. A vendor catered lunch at headquarters. With Coke products.”
An all-male ad agency team told the female marketing team that they understood tampons better than the women.
A seller told a customer: “What’s your title? We usually present to someone higher than you.”
One customer said people often stereotype Southerners. Like the time a rep said, “When I hear your accent, I start deducting IQ points.”
One manager dropped in on a sales presentation for a few minutes, and then she left. The rep then asked: “Your boss is smokin’. Is she single?”
A customer was unimpressed when his name was misspelled on the first slide of the presentation. His name? Smith.

Source: “14 of the Stupidest Things Ever said in Sales Meetings,” by Jim Nichols

What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard? Tell us in the Comments Box below.

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Tags: Coke, Dr Pepper, sales meetings, salesman, salespeople, stupidest things ever said

http://notapplicable David Williamson

Charlie,
Great article, it is amazing how some get their tongues divulge their prejudices and sour sales. I heard some of your instances, not all, but those I remember most were religious, ethnic or physical in some way…such as:

“Jews are not honest businessmen” (religious)

“Doing a skull radiograph on a black takes more energy because their heads are thicker than whites.” (ethnic)

“You know, that for a fat man you don’t seem to sweat much.” (physical)
Anony

I was presenting to 2 different division VPs for a current customer. At the beginning of the meeting everyone was joking around when one of the VPs stated that he was signing his divorce papers after the meeting. I said (due to the happy atmosphere) “Congratulations”. He looked at me like I was from Mars. I emidiately said “while I did not think is was possible, I just place both feet in my mouth at the same time.” Everyone laughed and I was forgiven….. Close call….
http://www.kaufmanpromotions.com Tom Kaufman

At a sales meeting in a small town a sales rep commented to the boss he was pitching. “Mr. X, you really shouldn’t drive such a fancy car being that you live in a small town like this”.

A French Canadian mistook the last name of an associate as being French also. The prospect started speaking French to the rep. Instead of using the Frenchman’s gesture of comraderie to help cement their relationship the salesman ham handedly explained that he was of Polish descent.

I was on a sales call and I had a rubber band around some samples, as I was removing the rubber band, it snapped and flew into a painting of Jesus and hit Him in the forhead.
http://www.theEZreader.com Robert Barry

The dumbest statement at a Sales meeting: “The recession has cut our sales. So, we need to cut off most business trips, do no advertising, and stop all expenses.”
http://n/a Kim

I sat in a sales presentation where the presenter said, “we like to think we are the leading reporting company in the industry.” Then, to top it off, he said, “we tell people we have 100 customers”.

He word choice definitely left a bad impression on the prospect.
Sunida

Ha ha ha Lucy this is funny. I can’t believe that they actually said that!!!
George Bennett

Charlie,

I have had quite a few but here are a couple that I still shake my head on.

We were selling to DHL and had just closed a large deal. The rep told the customer we would make sure they get the contract that week and we would Fed Ex it to him. The customer told us if we use FedEx for the contract, then don’t send it. We all laughed but it was tense for a few seconds.

We were at a new client and sitting at a conference table when a young woman came in. The rep I was with asked if she could get him a cup of coffee and a water. She said she would arrange it but she was the CEO of the company.
Pete Blackmur

When I was at work for my first day, a secretary (admin assistant) was showing me around the office. She paused at the fax machine and began explaining how to use it. I wanted to make some small talk and asked her, “when is your due date?”. Quite the wrong thing to say to a woman who is not pregnant, but merely overweight.
http://www.springboardtraining.com SylviaH

Good article with which to begin my day with a smile. As an interpersonal skills expert I see and hear flubs like these, and have known to utter an occasional one myself, unfortunately. The one I especially learned to say to avoid inserting my foot into mouth is, “You look different today, and I can’t figure out exactly why.” That way the other person can tell me whether they’ve lost weight, changed their hair style (or color), tried a new suit, or otherwise initiated their own change. I used to jump right in and say something like, “Congratulations on your pregnancy!” when the other person merely gained weight. Never again. LOL!!!
http://www.manta.com Katie B.

I was working in the San Francisco area years ago and had a good meeting with an ad agency media planner. Her name was Japanese. As always, I followed up with a hand-written thank you note and spelled her name Fuckiyami instead of Fukiyami. Let’s just say that on my next call I was not well received! It’s true!
L.

As a manager, I often get multiple phone calls of sales rep a week. One of my biggest advice it for sales rep to do just a little research on the region in which you are calling. Living in Canada there are two official languages: English and French. Althought I am completely fluent in English I come from a French descent. Hence, a little research from them on the names of the person who they are calling would not hurt. Most often they believe I am a man, because in the English culture my name is given to a man although it is spelled differently. In French, my name will be given to a woman – with the correct woman spelling of the name. Hence, sales rep will hang up if they hear my voice when I answer, or I had someone tell me ‘Why would your parents do this to you??’ … the reps who do the little research before actually get my time to listen to their phone calls and their propositions.
http://www.sudassociates.com Pat Graleski

We were shortlisted with only one other firm for a large city project which would probably lead to a contract with the county. I’m the sales rep and I imet with the project manager before the interview and ascertained that, because this was a project totally unfamiliar to them, they were more interested in expertise in the procedures to follow (State, US DOE, etc.) than the technical expertise. That was because they felt both firms had the expertise and it was the finer points they were concerned with. When I asked my boss to define the process, he told me to “make it up”. Our firm has not had a project like this since I joined so that slide was very basic. During the questioning the project manager asked a “procedure” question three times and each time my boss brushed her off and said it wasn’t important. Then he gave them a stack of reports that he had me copy for them. One of them he put into the box at the last minute and I hadn’t even seen before. When they asked if they could keep it, he said that I had neglected to copy it. I went back after the contract was awarded to the other firm and aked for a review of our interview. Part of the reason we lost because they sensed “tension” in our team and we didn’t respond to the process questions. When I told my boss he responded, “they’re still negotiating price we may get it yet because we’re cheaper.”
Bill R

I was at a high end dinner with my boss who was also the head of sales for my company. As the chef’s for the evening were introduced, one of the chef’s first name is “Brother” and happens to be short, white, and from the Midwest. My ex-boss leaned over to one of our top clients and stated that he did not want to come across as a racist, but he was expecting a six foot four black guy from the Bronx to come out of the kitchen. Our client who was of Latin/African decent did not see the humor in it and I now have a new boss.
Alan

…punctuated an extremely high-energy presentation to a major account prospect with the exclamation: “Were not satisfied, ’till you’re NOT satisfied!”

OOPS!
Scott

I’m aware of one instance of a sales proposal being shipped using UPS overnight service. To a contact at FedEx.
Essie

My sister is a Controller & CPA for a law firm in Pennsylvania. She’s been hearing impaired since college. A client said to her “You don’t look deaf.”
Essie

People I work with ask me if I’ve dyed my hair. I either say “No, I just washed it” or “No, I decided to stop washing it.” They haven’t said it again recently.
Giuseppe

I was being introduced in a meeting as the new VP-Sales of one of our companies in Georgia by the General Manager. He graciously told everyone my name and went on to say that now that i had arrived we would be working with a whole new business floormat.
Rick

Owners of a small manufacturing company once told me “if you give our customers excellent service they will come to expect it”.
Andy

RE: Pete Blackmur Says:

March 12th, 2010 at 7:15 am
When I was at work for my first day, a secretary (admin assistant) was showing me around the office. She paused at the fax machine and began explaining how to use it. I wanted to make some small talk and asked her, “when is your due date?”. Quite the wrong thing to say to a woman who is not pregnant, but merely overweight.

What’s worse is when the reply is “Dude…I’m not even a woman.”
http://www.CanyonStateTeam.com Jay R

Some years back, I heard a story about the CEO at Southwest Airlines. He was interviewing architects for a project they were contemplating. One of the firms that had flown in for a presentation had left their story boards in the lobby with “America West Airlines” tags on them. The CEO was in the lobby, saw the tags and uttered…”Well, they’re out”.

Ooopps! Better think about who the client is….
J

As the sales rep for a business planning service, I brought along one of our in-house economists to meet a big prospect. I’ll never forget this young ivory-tower guy taking the pipe out of his mouth, pointing it at the experienced V.P. of a major oil company, and saying, “What you don’t understand about this business is…”
Todd

I was giving a demo. One of the attendees was blind. I brought up a screenshot and said “as you can see” … I felt so bad but it was just part of my normal speech.

I was in a prospect meeting once and my sales manager passed some really bad gas in a small room filled with a few older ladies. Instead of apologizing, he jumped up and ran out without saying a word. He never came back.

In a meeting with a prospect, the president of our firm was asked why they should choose our company over the competitor. The president said because our employees on average had a 15 point higher IQ than our competitor. The prospect asked if there was a way he could prove that. The president said “no but I know we are”. The prospect kind of shrugged and we went on. Needless to say, we did not get that business.
H K

Funny – I was just speaking with a rep who happened to confuse one of my clients’ competitors with my client’s company.

A little research always helps. The worst is when people come to a meeting and ask something like “so what does your company do?”
Layne

I was in an internal interview with our CMO for a marketing position heading up a new division that he was in charge of. I asked him to clarify the name of the new division, and I then said, “Oh, that’s different than the other names I’ve heard it called. See, that’s why you need a MARKETING person in there!” … To our Chief MARKETING Officer.

I am frequently called upon by sales reps and have seen many examples of what NOT to do. Not being prepared is one of the worst – and, surprisingly, most common – offenses many make.

I had one sales rep say to me, “Well, who do you report to because I usually only bring my boss to meet with the higher-ups.” Being the actual decision-maker, I made a decision very quickly about whether or not to give her our business.
Jennifer

In my first year with my company and in sales, I had just placed my first consultant with a client of ours. While following up to see how the consultant was doing, the client said, “I’ve only seen this 1 consultant out here from your company so far. Do you have anyone else working out here right now?” What I meant to say was, “This is a new client for me and I just haven’t had much success yet with the other managers.” What I really said was, “This is a new client for me and I haven’t had much sex yet… success… oh my god.” The client’s jaw dropped open, started laughing and said, “Well, I see why you are doing so well.” I was absolutely mortified, but I am pretty sure he will never forget me.
Bob G.

I showed up for a scheduled appointment with a buyer only to find out that he had died that morning, at the office. I did what is listed first in the list above; asked to see someone else. It wasn’t a stupid thing to do. It was 10 years ago and that client is still going strong! I guess it depends on how you ask!

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